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  • Hannah Zunic

Hot Mess Express: A Review of Siri, Who Am I? by Sam Tschida

Hello, Book Nerds! Welcome back to Reading Has Ruined My Life or welcome if you are new. As always, my name is Hannah and I am your captain on this journey into my bookcases.


Bears waving.
How's it going today?

I have a new review for you today! Truthfully, I anticipate this being the last review I write this year. Work has really slowed me down, but I still have lots of great posts coming your way in these last few weeks of 2022. So let’s end 2022’s reviews with a bang. Please welcome to the stage Siri, Who Am I? by Sam Tschida.


Book cover of Siri, Who Am I? by Sam Tschida.

You may remember me mentioning this read a few posts back. It was one of the books at the top of my TBR pile and I decided it was finally time to pick it up. I will not say how long it has been in my TBR pile as that’s lowkey embarrassing.


As always, a spoiler alert is in order. I’m really good at spoiling the entirety of a book’s plot; you’ve been warned. Also, I have a content and trigger warning. Siri, Who Am I? features a scene that can be defined as rape or sexual assault. The TL;DR of this is the main character says, “let’s take things slow.” The other person involved takes this as meaning the main character wants to have gentle sex and not the main character not giving consent. This scene is very short, it’s very easy to skip over, I’m not going to talk about it past this point. As I said, this scene is very easy to skip. It’s one or two paragraphs tops. Just be aware that it's there. With that, let’s get to the synopsis.


Our book begins in a hospital with a young woman who doesn’t know who she is. She recently suffered a head trauma and has just woken up. She seriously has no idea who she is, no one answers their phone when she calls, she doesn’t know who anyone is either, she has no texts or emails on her phone; Siri literally has to tell her her name.


Her name’s Mia and she’s the owner of GoldRush, a fancy matchmaking service for the wealthy. Let’s review here, she’s a gorgeous gal, wealthy, and a millionaire matchmaker.


SNL Millionaire Matchmaker.
I'm not saying I want Scarlett Johansson to reprise this SNL skit role, but I'm not not saying that.

Other than that she has no clue about her life or who she was before this accident. Now, Mia’s doctors aren’t the greatest. Actually, they kinda suck. Despite her having literally no one, no emergency contact, and no idea about who she is, they release her. They send a woman who only has a fancy cocktail dress and tiara to her name out into the world. Girl literally orders an Uber to leave the hospital.


Side note, this fictional Uber driver deserves everything and a ten-star rating! He helps our girl out! He questions everything for the five minutes we know him, but he gets Mia to where she needs to be. This man deserves some extra cash and a day off at the very least.


Back to Mia though. She safely arrives home to her pink house. And surprise! There’s a person inside! This person is Max, a cute, science boy who tells Mia he’s the house sitter for the owner who is not her. Yeah, Mia doesn’t own the house she's dropped off at. She is the girlfriend of the guy who owns the house. Said boyfriend is in Switzerland and does not know of Mia’s head injury. That doesn’t matter though! Mia has Max, and he’s going to help her figure out her life whether he likes it or not.


Miss J from America's Next Top Model.
I imagine this is Max's face when Mia walks into the house and tells him she needs his help.

What results is one-part comedy of errors, one-part love story, and one-part crime novel. Mia’s life is nothing like she thought it was, and after discovering this, she’s desperate to change. But can she do it in time? Can she turn her life around? Can she discover who or what caused her injury? Or will someone silence her before she learns the truth?


First things first, I want to talk about Mia. Mia is the Hot Mess Express. Very understandable given her circumstances. But Mia is a character who readers will either love or hate. There are many times throughout the book where it seems she does not do much to figure out who she is. Instead of calling every single contact in her phone to learn about herself, she scrolls Instagram and takes selfies. There are also some times where it seems Mia cares more about the Kardashians than her own situation. All this to say Mia is a bit much. Again, very much the Hot Mess Express.


Steam engine train.
Choo Choo

There is another aspect of Siri, Who Am I? that will divide readers. Sam Tschida, the author, uses a lot of language that most people only see on Instagram. This aspect also ties into Mia. Siri, Who Am I? is told through Mia’s POV and she’s a social media influencer. A lot of the language used is supposed to be trendy, but it’s actually already dated given this book was published in 2021 and it’s nearly 2023 when I’m publishing my review. But that’s beside the point.


Siri, Who Am I? is a satire on the social media influencer/social media obsessed culture that’s taken hold over the past decade. The language and voice of this book works. Sam Tschida has created a brand name obsessed main character who can only recognize the real world and what truly matters when everything is taken away from her. And who is also able to retrace her steps from the past week based solely on what’s she has overshared on Instagram. So while Mia and the language used can be a bit draining, I do recommend readers to read this book as a satire. I’ve seen a few negative reviews on this book that were specifically negative towards Mia and her voice. I believe some have missed the point that this book is indeed satire. Read this one as satire, it helps to swallow the ridiculousness that is social media influencer/California culture.


Californian beach.

I laughed my way through the majority of this book. As someone who works in social media, the ridiculous aspects of this book are something I see nearly every day and know very well. There are footnotes throughout the book that are basically more of Mia’s inner thoughts, and they are perfect. I could have done with less Kardashian references, and the ending was very cheesy-although I howled at the America's Next Top Model style elimination-but this was a great, comedic read.


Suspend your disbelief entirely with Siri, Who Am I?. Seriously give your disbelief the day off and know this book is satire before you read it. I enjoyed this book immensely and recommend it if you want a light-hearted comedic romp.


With that, I must bid you all adieu. Thank you for joining me today for the last review of 2022. Don’t worry, the reviews will be back in tenfold in 2023. This isn’t the last post of 2022 though. I still have some great posts coming your way these next two weeks.


Until then, stay safe, wash your hands, and read some good books for me.


Bears waving.
See y'all then, bye!

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