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  • Writer's pictureHannah Zunic

Alternative Book Titles

Hello, Book Nerds! Welcome back to Reading Has Ruined My Life or welcome if you are new. As always, my name is Hannah and I am your captain on this journey into my bookcases.

Bears waving.
Hey, how's it going today?

I was thinking about books the other day. You know, as I always do. And I thought, what if I came up with fake book titles. Like, if I was the author, what would I name the book in question? Some of these are serious and some of these are me being a troll. Please enjoy the oddities my mind has come up with, and also the fake book covers I’ve poorly photoshopped.

5. To All the Dogs I’ve Loved Before

Yeah…this one has been done before. It’s obviously a play on To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han. All I have to say is that I like animals more than people.

Fake book cover of All the Boys I've Loved Before.

4. Dance Towards Death

Ok, this is the first one I’m being dead serious about. Can you guess what book I’m talking about? Hint, I’ve reviewed this book.

Jeopardy intro.
Take your best guess.

It’s The Retreat by Elisabeth de Mariaffi. The main character of this thriller is a dancer, and she’s fighting for her life by the end. I very much like the vibes this fake title gives off. It’s eye catching.

Fake book cover of The Retreat by Elisabeth De Mariaffi.

3. Follow the Leader

Next up is a new title for a book by one of my favorite authors. This is my new take on After Alice by Gregory Maguire. It matches the whimsy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, and goes along with the plot of After Alice as Ada is searching for Alice in Wonderland by following her friend’s path.

Fake book cover of After Alice by Gregory Maguire.

2. Exorcism for Dumdums or How to Save Your Best Friend From Demonic Possession

This one’s probably easy to guess; especially if you are a long term RHRML reader. It’s My Best Friend’s Exorcism by Grady Hendrix. My original review of this book has a title similar to what I’ve given you today. Both alternative titles really fit with the book’s vibe and I could go all day thinking up new titles for My Best Friend’s Exorcism; there’s just so much material to work with here.

Fake book cover of My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix.

1. The Not So Great Gatsby

My dislike of this classic novel knows no bounds.

Fake book cover of The Great Gatsby.

With that, I shall bid you all adieu. Thank you for joining me today and allowing me to kinda troll you all. I hope you got at least one laugh courtesy of this post. I promise I will have a review for you next Wednesday. All I can tell you is to expect a blast from the past.

Until then, stay safe, wash your hands, and read some good books for me.

Bears waving.
See y'all next week, bye!

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